Written By: Justin Akadonye 

Dear God,

It has been a while since we last had a conversation… Sometimes I just wonder how I got to this place.

I know it has been more of me and less of you lately, I am so sorry. It is just that I have been so caught up by the inaction in my life that I felt I needed some space.

I remember I could trust you to talk about anything…everything!

I have so much missed your presence and essence in my life. I just thought I could handle most of these issues that plagued me all the time and now I just drift.

It used to be days, now the days have moved to weeks and even months.

How I missed our conversations, how I missed your assurances and indeed your protection.

You were my all and every time I needed to make quality decisions it was you I ran to. You were with me in my “highs”, my “lows” and even in the “in-between”. You are the sweetest friend!

It is as though we were never close. I hate this space between us. As a matter of fact, I crave daily to be with you, I yearn to talk to you and pour all of my deepest secrets and moments with you. I just want to get back to that place; to the place where I knew all was fine, where I knew I could find rest, where my heart laid.

The days are getting longer and the nights so lonely without you.

In the mornings, you used to start my day with me and at night you ended it with me.

I don’t want to start poking fingers but I know the issue has always been me.

I hate it when I don’t hear from you, I hate it when I carry all these burdens all by myself, sometimes my knees would just give and I feel like I was the only person in the world.

Yea! I always complain of being too busy for you, I always put off our quality times together…looking back now, I’m so remorseful and wish you would understand my plight…

Understand? There I go again. That is the one excuse I always give… I always feel you understand that I have my frailties; and I let that push me further away.

Well, your writings and letters told me that: I am complete in you and you long to be with me day and night; it also said that you would draw close to me, if I did draw close to you.

It had always been so simple, just how could I not see it? Just how did I complicate everything with all of my cares? Phew! I really am sorry!

Despite all my imperfections you have always loved me faithfully; you have never let me down or left me for a moment. I, on the other hand, keep doing things that truncate our communication. Each time you would lift me up with both hands, the next moment I get carried away by the issues and ties of family and friends.

Sometimes I try to take your place by trying to help others; so much so that friends now see me as a pushover… Everyone always thinks about himself, but you always place me first.

I found that there was a deep vacuum that needed filling in my life and so I need you once more.

You are the only one who has known me all my life even before my mother did; you were my first love, my friend and indeed my lover.

I look back, with nostalgia, at our yesterday, our laughter our companionship and even fellowship. I really missed those!

I hope it isn’t too late to start tracing back my steps, I hope you will still welcome me back with open arms as you always would. I hope I can still feel loved and cherished in your arms, I hope I can still be yours and yours alone.

There is nothing more beautiful than the feeling of coming back home after such a long time. I long for your company and affection each day.

Here I am now, writing to you…. I want to come back home… I really need you so much Lord that it hurts… I really love you

Love,

JFA